Friday, November 26, 2010

Gotta Make Me Some Holes

The thing Paul had spoken of before he disappeared was about... Well, his apartment.

Me and him had just been randomly sharing stories of injuries we got when we were younger. The doctors had encouraged me try and get him to talk about the past, to jog his memory and such. He really didn't have much to say, until he brought up "mental injuries".

I asked what he meant exactly and he told me that he had been hallucinating a few months ago. I was surprised, as this was the first time he had mentioned his crazed episode since being dropped into the clinic. I didn't even know if he had remembered any of it.

So, I asked him what he hallucinated about, and he didn't really say much for a few minutes. Eventually he started talking about his apartment, and how he had heard voices behind the walls all the time. I knew there had been cuts and indents to the walls when I found him... carving into himself, and I know Paul's family had paid for the repairs. What I, or probably anyone, didn't know is that Paul had done more then just that to his apparent talking walls.

"I cut out a section of the wall, behind my bed, and started placing notes in the hole." ... "I wanted to communicate to the hallucinations behind my walls. I don't remember if they ever really responded."

Shortly after that, I had to leave, and that was the last visit I ever had with him.

Paul had to have been talking about those notes behind his bed on Halloween. I believed they would still be there, hidden behind the bed. Paul's family had decided to pay for his rent until January, to see if he would recover before then. Aside from the repairs, I doubted the room would be any different.

Unfortunately, when I took a visit to the landlord today, the guy could barely recall who Paul was and had received no payments for the place's rent since October. He was removing the stuff from Paul's place and selling it. His memory was that the previous owner had agreed to this, and was long gone.

Guess that means I can assume that whatever happened to Brandon, happened to Paul as well. But that would mean Brandon is still out there somewhere. Alive, but forgotten.

The landlord had come across the hole in the wall after moving the bed. Of course, he fixed that. I have no idea if I can trust this, but he said he never checked behind the hole, and never found any notes. After asking if I was a friend of whoever had lived there, he asked if I was looking for a place.

I answered yes to both.

Tomorrow, he's letting me take a look at the apartment. Somehow, I'm going to have make another fucking hole and check for those notes. The landlord told me briefly that the fixed hole was still noticeable, and that he would need to paint over it. This is perfect for me. I just have to fucking do it without him seeing, then explain later why I made a new hole.


Why is it only Shannon and I who can remember Paul and Brandon? Whatever is going on, we're definitely knee deep in it. Knee deep in shit, really.

I just hope that when I do get behind the wall, that the notes are there. It is very possible for the landlord to have found them, disposed of them, and then forgotten about them completely.

Fucking unfair bullshit, that would be.


  1. Hmm ... could you pull off a "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I tripped on (the rug, the floor, my own feet) and hit the wall," excuse? I mean, I have atrocious balance - crashing into a wall isn't that much of stretch for me. If you say that you tripped because of something in the apartment, or hurt yourself in the process, the landlord might not make too big of a deal about it - fixing the hole again is probably preferable to a possible client bitching about injuries and hospital bills.

    I do realize that I'm exceptionally clumsy, of course, and this situation may not seem logical to you. Just a suggestion!

    Maybe forgetting is a defense mechanism: if you don't remember those who have ... disappeared, then you don't remember the circumstances regarding their disappearance - and you don't ask questions. I don't know what this means for you or Shannon, or if the theory even makes sense.

    Ugh. Good luck with the apartment, and stay safe!

  2. "Gotta make me some holes"

    Catchy as hell.

    Next time I feel like writing a song, I've definitely got a name.
    ...Holy shit dude that phrase kicks so much ass.

    ...Anyway, make the hole when he's not looking and use the excuse of having felt it up a bit and it all fell apart.

    Maybe he'll buy it?

  3. Thanks for the idea Mali, but I don't think the guy would buy THAT, haha.

    As or your idea, Shiloh.
    ... It's kind of perfect. It's not unlikely for me to want to check out the repair job, and I'll just offer any money he needs.

    Though, taking a hammer to a wall might leave a hole that would not realistically be explained by this. But I will have no choice.

  4. LOL, I'd totally try to pull it off - but then again, I'd just start to cry if he didn't believe me. I guess crying doesn't really have the same effect for you? ;) Regardless, Shiloh's idea is pretty amazing. Good luck! =)

  5. You could say the hole was there when you came -- i.e it fell apart on its own when he wasn't watching.

  6. An interesting idea that would have been, Sam. I do think I would have gotten the same response if I had used that excuse, however.

    I have the notes. I also almost received a fucking black eye.

    I'll post in a bit.